Motherhood & Living with Crohn’s
Written by The Imperfect Motha
The_Imperfect_MothaLiving with a long-term condition like Crohn’s can make it easy to forget to take care of yourself. Don’t forget to fill your own cup first so that you can be there for your loved ones!
The Imperfect Motha, a former Blogger, lives with Crohn’s Disease. While managing the condition, she soon realised she was trying too hard to please everyone and comparing herself to other women – taking the joy out of motherhood and love out of her relationships. However, when she ended up in the hospital due to the disease, it allowed her to stop and take care of herself.
Read on to discover how she re-prioritised her wellbeing and how the support of her family has helped her along the way.
I wasn’t a priority.
I wasn’t putting myself first.
I’m far from being a ‘perfect mum’, partner, friend, sister and daughter, but I was too hard on myself upon reflection. I am doing my best to fulfil these roles.
My two main problems were wanting to please everyone and comparing myself to other women. I got it wrong when I started to believe the definition of perfect was that kind of woman.
I wanted to be the kind of woman who loves to cater to her man by waking up early to get his food and clothes ready for his day. The type of woman who ensures the house is always tidy without a speck of dust. The sort of mum that’s never late dropping her child off to school without breaking a sweat and even remembers to wear a bra! The kind of woman looking ever-so-glamorous 365 days a year, 24/7. The type of woman who visits and keeps in touch with friends.
However, trying to be a Superwoman made me forget myself. I forgot my well-being to the point where my mind and body almost gave up on me…
I ended up in the hospital due to a nasty flare-up.
I have Crohn’s disease, which slips my mind when I try to be that kind of woman.
This weeklong spell in the hospital seemed like a lifesaver. It was a place where this time, it was about looking after me. A place where I could stop and do nothing and not be judged. For the first time in a long time, I slept every day without worrying.
This time to myself made me realise that trying so hard to be that kind of woman took the joy out of motherhood. It took the love and fun out of my relationships. I realised if I didn’t put myself first, how would my girls benefit? How would I dedicate that time to them if I didn’t look after myself?
I’ve had Crohn’s disease for nine years, affecting my inflamed small intestine. It leaves me drained, fatigued and weak most of the time. It often leaves me unable to do anything. Some people may disagree and say it’s selfish that I can’t put others first. Maybe, it is, but that is what I need to do to be beneficial to my loved ones.
I thank God for blessing me with a fantastic family support unit. I wouldn’t know how to cope without my mum, brother and amazing in-laws.
Crohn’s Help & Support
The unpredictable flare-ups of Crohn’s disease can be hard to cope with emotionally and practically.
Tell your friends and family about your condition so they can understand its effect on your life, and talk to your GP or care team. They can offer support, treatment and referral to a specialist such as a counsellor if needed.
Lastly, join support groups like Crohn’s and Colitis UK; you can speak to people who can relate to and understand what you’re going through.
*Originally published in 2018 on KikiBlahBlah.com, written by former Blogger, The Imperfect Motha.
The views and opinions expressed within this post are solely the author’s. They do not reflect the views and beliefs of Women Who Rebrand–#WWR or its affiliates.
The views and opinions are solely their own current opinions regarding events and are based on their own perspective and opinion – it is the opinion and perspective of the author.
Such views, opinions, or perspectives are intended to convey a life story, are based on recollections about events in their lives on which conflicting memories may exist, and are not intended to malign any individual or company.
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