Seeking Love, Not Lust: An Anonymous Letter
The complexities of being in a relationship can often lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings.
This letter is a heartbreaking testament to the struggles of one person’s experience in their relationship, where love has been replaced by lust and communication has been replaced by silence.
The writer shares their feelings of loneliness, hurt and confusion as they try to make sense of the situation they find themselves in and ultimately make a plea for love instead of lust. This letter is an emotional cry for help from someone who feels unheard and unseen, desperately seeking a connection with their partner.
Trigger warning: This letter contains content related to depression, which may trigger some readers. If you feel overwhelmed or need support, don’t hesitate to contact a mental health professional or other supportive resources.
This letter contains language that may be considered offensive.
I want love, not sex.
You didn’t even care because you came.
My body had changed. I’d had your children, you see.
Everything has moved, and my wants and needs have shifted.
We rarely get to ‘do it’ that I don’t even know what I like.
It’s not your fault or mine, but I am alone in adjusting to this new body.
Tiny hands still paw at me.
Soft and round have replaced hip bones you once gripped.
My tits are full of milk do not want to be bitten.
My arse does not want you to try to fuck it.
Please, I ask, go slow you’re hurting me.
I want you to make love to me.
To worship the body that brought your children into this world, not treat me like your hand.
The difference is I am a woman now in all that it encompasses.
I’m not some next girl, some one-night stand,
That’s going to purr to please you.
What you’re doing to me, the way you’re touching me, the lack of thought and care…
It’s hurting me; I’m not talking physically,
What I’m experiencing is not pleasure.
My heart is hurting as you ignore my requests for a gentle touch, and the pressure and pace feel too much.
You don’t care; your end is in sight.
To know that you still want me.
You use my body to fulfil a need.
I am touched out; I have given love to the point of running out.
I’m asking you to make love to me, To love me.
And whether it’s true or just my perception, you make me feel less than I used to.
The way you’re fucking yourself into me…
Staring over my shoulder as you replay some porno in your head.
As you start whispering in my ear, something filthy that I don’t want to hear right now when I can’t remember the last time I felt that you loved me.
It’s breaking me.
…But I thought I should try more physical intimacy to keep my family.
The problem is I had your children.
Relegated from sexy and intriguing to tired nag; alright for a shag.
I want my fucking future.
The one you promised me.
Where you are here, on my team.
Me and you against the world.
Me and you are in love 4 evs.
Not treating me like the cleaner, the pot washer, the nanny and the cook.
Not invited to parties, barely mentioned to your friends.
I am your baby mama, your wife, supposedly your life…
But the reality is I am your middle-class, 2.4, suburban secret.
…as I begin to see, I say, stop. Stop fucking me.
I’m nearly there, baby.
I am silently screaming stop fucking me, physically, mentally, spiritually, have the balls to leave me.
I cleaned up.
You didn’t even hold me.
It was the last time we fucked.
The UK offers a wide range of support services for those who may be triggered or who can relate to the thoughts and feelings of the author. These include mental health charities such as Mind, SANE and Rethink, which provide advice and support on various topics, including depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues. The Samaritans offer confidential emotional support 24 hours a day, seven days a week for anyone in distress or despair.
Numerous online forums, such as The Mix, provide peer-to-peer support and advice on mental health issues.
For those seeking more formal help with their relationship difficulties, Relate provides counselling services for couples and individuals.
Finally, the NHS also has information about local services available in your area, which can help you access specialist psychological therapies to address any underlying issues contributing to your relationship problems.
The views and opinions expressed within this post are solely the authors. They do not reflect the views and beliefs of Women Who Rebrand–#WWR or its affiliates.
The views and opinions are solely their own current opinions regarding events and are based on their own perspective and opinion – it is the opinion and perspective of the author.
Such views, opinions, or perspectives are intended to convey a life story, are based on recollections about events in their lives on which conflicting memories may exist, and are not intended to malign any individual or company.
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